woyww- a confusion of sufferings
'tis only because I am sick that I can catch up, too ill to go to work (I have nappy rash of the nose and eyes like rissoles in the snow from overproduction of mucous otherwise known as the too common cold).
Being off has enabled me to sleep for approx 48 hours, Now I am AWAKE, oh yeah, and feeling a bit better, back to the grindstone tomorrow. Before that here's the last month in a nutshell:( stuff I did nov - dec but had no time to blog), forgive the non wide angled desk shot, it's all I can do to prop myself up at the Mac - lemsip in one hand, whisky in the other....foot controlling the mouse....
First up some IMPORTANT WORDAGE- there is 'A Thing' I can't show you, which has gone to my secret santa buddie (hosted swap). Why show you something I can't show you? well... because the hostess is Carmen, and I emailed her to confirm on tracked ness/ on timed ness of secretive gift posting: Only to hear of a tragic loss of life in her close family, then I also read that we have lost a treasured WOYWWER (Sarah), so this here is the first up ( not of show and tells), but a tribute to what I have decided to label my 'personal sacred art of suffering'. As you know we lost our Sarah last year, so we have been through a year of mourning, and many friends have lost close ones this last year too. My great grandma was jewish, my Grandma was a non practising C of E (more like an agnostic really) and my Mom was a born again christian (I think in a brave bid to escape giving me a heritage of judaism/agnostism - please God may this child properly believe in something). All I can say is that I am aware of a deep propensity to grab suffering with both arms and lovingly carress it like it is something akin to a comfort blanket, only to find hugging suffering is a bit daft.
What can I say? is there anything I can do?
Only thing I can do in the face of suffering is to celebrate the life that I can find, create a smile where there is enduring pain, give a brief glimpse of something that may bring hope. As you also know, my Mom died when I was eleven, so it was at a very tender age that I decided not to live my life in a pit of over shadowing loss, and it was a choice.
My control freekery is my salvation as well as my demarkating psychic scar- despite evidence and attempts by others to persuade me otherwise- I am determined that there is always something that can be done/experienced/changed that makes today wonderful and the future bursting with opportunities not to be missed. Religion didn't really heal me, but Art as therapy I can recommend, so here's to all you sufferers, hope this Art of mine will bring you a moment of relief and pleasure, and for those free of suffering, let me take you higher.....(click on the coloured word links to see more) all this stuff is on my desk (that link will take you back to Julia) waiting to be wrapped, taged and delivered....
A self portait from my recently constructed art book made for Lizzie for Christmas (no peeking Liz)
tim's tags (again for Lizzie in Lieu of a handmade card)
My unfinished (want to work on it) life class (still haven't had time to update the tab for life class - hopefully I will get a chance over the Christmas long weekend off...)
oh and, of course. littering the desk are the finished angels (click to see them all) that are my Gift to my Sister in Law who has a new grand daughter - Amelia whom we call Me Me,
on Sunday I am going to finish my 52 pages with Darcy, and tell you about the two legged dog, that became a four legged fat thing....